Tuesday, January 30, 2007
yest n today wind so big.
so cold la.
dunnit on air con also feel lik gt air con.
tis morning go work,
was walking to wards my dad car den see two plastic bags initially on the floor,
it was flying in the air,
jus lik when gt tornado , typhoon watever u call tt.
wa. so cham la.
lidat will tornado/typhoon/watever/
happen in sg?
hope nt.!
work today was..
preetty okay.
bahs.
jus nw on the way hm was tinking alot.
lik out of a sudden just think alot.
i was talking to a fren once,
told him tt i dunwana get married, dun wan haf kids.
wan to b single forever.
and he asked me,
you nt scared of loneliness?
stunn.
din noe hw to reply tt.
but i jus casually laughed tt question off.
didnt tink of it till today, just now.
loneliness?
how do u define loneliness?
at nite when u r lonely, while ur frens haf their better halves with them,
or lonely when u haf no one to talk to, no one to go out with?
actually i dont noe wat im gibbering abt here.
mayb im scared of tt.
mayb i was just running away frm it all this while.
yes, sumtimes i wish i was attached.
but when i tink of last time.. being attached was so troublesome..
so no life..
so suffocating..
so no freedom.
i immediately shoook tt tot out of my head.
wat for bring urself unhappiness, i told my fren.
n he replied by saying, sometimes its nt totally unhappiness..
gt happy times also.
yeah. but wats the ratio of happiness:unhappiness?
it all depends on the diff individuals.
but who noes myself better den me?
i just KNOW tt there will b more unhappiness den happiness.
cus im like that.
yeh single is good.
but sometimes when i wanna find ppl to go out with,
its jus so frustrating.
most of them r either with bf/gfs or family or watever.
in the end im alone.
at home.
sleeping it off. staring at the computer /tv screen .
actually now come to think of it,
i missed out on a few really great guys inthe past.
but now its all over.
didnt noe them well enuff in the past,
was too afraid.
n now den i realize their goodneess.
all too late.
but nvm.
i wanna be free anyway
=)
10:38 PM
