Thursday, November 09, 2006
received an email from peps alumni band .
dey say having surprise farewell concert for mrs tan.
yeah though i've left the sch for like.. 5/ 6 yrss?
but i still noe who is mrs tan.
and they say will haf alumni n main band combine play.
the feeling was like... a rush over me.. i duno how to describe the feeling also.
den i started thinking abt youth.
thinking abt my instrument.
thinking abt touching my instrument.
i took it out, looked at it,
got a feel of it.
and cried.
yes.
i miss band so much all of a sudden.
miss playing together with the others though it was abit hard for mi cuz of the environment.
miss the music.
miss looking at the scores.
miss mr tan's conducting.
miss my instrument, the feel of it.
in fact i miss everything of it.
half of me is telling me to go back.
the other half of mi is asking mi to quit.
i dont noe what i want to follow.
stay or quit?
why must you say all that in the first place, hurting me, making things difficult for both of us tt it had to end this way.
why am i making myself miserable this way?
oh, how i wished that peps alumni never reached me.
the worst thing is, my bro is also in band.
also peps band.
and when ever i see him bring his instrument back .
i got the rush of feelings through mi again.
oh.what.am.i.going.to.do!?
12:24 AM
