Thursday, December 15, 2005
finally the tests are all over.. the day i dreaded came today.. jus nw on the way to lec.. i had another fit .. damn it.. n it so happened at the stairs ...luckily it was at the bottom of the flight of the stairs .. or i wld had rolled dwn the stairs liaoz.. well.. i duno wat happened nx... but i cld hear wat was happening subconciously.. heard felicia calling my parents..heard some teacher helping mi n bla. i tot i was dreaming. but too bad. it wasnt a dream. den i was helped to the conf. rm to rest.. i cried uncontrollably in the conf. rm.. i also dunno why .. but i haf this habit to cry when ever aft i have another fit. i feel so .. like a burden to ppl arnd me..feel so stupid n idiotic.. but i managed to cool off aft crying .. den felicia they all kept making jokes ..at least i cld still luff at their jokes aft tt. my parents came n brought mi hm to rest... slpt all e way to 7plus.. theres a bruise on my hand.. duno hw i got tt.. and my head is still feeling pain.. dunno gt knock my head ma. hais. sometimes its nt tt i dun wanna rest early, nt tt i dun wanna slp early. its jus tt with the club stuff n my sch work n all the tests. hw u want mi to rest n slp early like i want to ? im nt trying to push the blame to the club n all .. but tts the truth ma. in poly..hu slps early ?? i can tell u ..less den 10% of students in poly slp early at 10 or 11. the earliest they go to slp is at 12. tts all i can say. n the club.. dun xpect mi to quit jus cus its taking up alot of my time. i wun give up on it. cus its part of my life nw. its part of one of the reasons i enjoy going to sch for. im already trying my very best to get enuff slp for myseLf so tt i wun be over-xerted. if god wants to give mi this kind of shitty life. i jus haf to accept it. wat can i do abt it ? can i change my fate? can i change my life? no.
nuff said.
10:59 PM
