Wednesday, July 14, 2004
i really feel so sucky lor. DAMN sucky. had youth prac tonite? but is combined with the seniors one..n i felt so. uRGh.at first mi n tbc met to go together de .. den reach there... realize we r lik..juz in the nick of time bA? there were 3 claR seniors today. mr fahmi.. one woman and another gUy. fahmi n tt woman play 1sT.pLus diNg. 3 liao rite. too mani. so i play 2nD lor. nvm, den tt other senior guy also play 2nd. den 2nd was lik .. mi ..wilson..eliz n tt guy. he kept shaking so hard while playing. den 3rd was pat and tt new guy frm pasir ris seC las time. i dunno wat the hells wrong with mi. i couldnt even pLay properly. is my sight reading relly tt bAd? den music for feSTivAl.. 2nd de part really damn diff frm 1st de loR. dEn ding sit bside mi ..i listen liao also feel vEri weird why i playin diff frm him. dEn its lik alot parts i misseD oUt. miss coUnt..den to make matters worsE..tt woman change place with ding. meaning she sat bside mi. ogosh. tt made mi more panicky. she was lik observin mi lik tt lor. wafuck lor. cden i todae tuning note also canot tune prooperly. so damn frEaking sHaRp. juz wat the HELL WAS I DOING!? i shouldnt have gone for the stupID prac. arGHZ. i juz felt so disgrACed. felt so down. i wanted to leave rite away. felt so useles.. a complete FAILURE. guess nw they mUx tink hw bAd i am. wTF lOr. I JUST DUN GET IT.! i couldnt play well. wat shit.??? ARGH! 9 yrs of playing the stupid clarinet. tis is my 10th yR. and im still getting shitty resultS lik just now? CHAN XIN YI. u suck. BIG TIME. whEN wiLL u eVEr wAKe uP!?
i just feel lik crying. aRhgz.
12:30 AM
